Every now and again, a movie comes around, hits you like a ton of bricks, and then leaves you thinking about long-buried memories you forgot existed. That recently happened to me when I watched Sometimes I Think About Dying, Daisey Ridley’s quirky drama about an awkward office worker living with social anxiety. One of the most surprising experiences from the 2024 movie schedule, this imaginative and highly relatable film impacted me in ways I didn’t think were possible for a movie and was, honestly, a tremendously cathartic experience.
However, there’s one sequence that hit me really hard. Like, harder than the rest of the movie. Come with me as I explore Sometimes I Think About Dying and the stretch that helped me remember and reconcile with an experience from my young adulthood.
Sometimes I Think About Dying Impacted Me In Ways I Didn't Think Were Possible For A Movie
When I randomly put on Sometimes I Think About Dying with my Mubi subscription recently, I thought it’d be a good way to use the streaming service after finally checking out The Substance. Little did I know before pressing play, but this movie about a socially awkward office worker struggling to connect with her co-workers and pretty much everyone else in her dreary Oregon coastal town would impact me in ways I never imagined.
As someone who has battled social anxiety (and general anxiety) for most of my life, I couldn’t help but relate with Fran Larsen (Ridley) as she lived this almost self-imposed life of isolation because she couldn’t handle most social situations. Though I have worked from home for the better part of the past five years, watching the movie took me back to my days of working in an office where I would second-guess myself and stop conversations before they even started, afraid of saying something dumb or missing social cues.
Though the entire 93-minute film impacted me tremendously, there was one sequence that hit particularly hard, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.
But Fran And Robert's Awkward Date Hit Me Especially Hard
We’ve all had romantic relationships that come to an abrupt and awkward end, right? Well, the whole section of Sometimes I Think About Dying where Fran starts up a relationship with her new coworker Robert Naster (Dave Merheje) goes from being one of the most charming aspects of the movie to one of its most painfully awkward moments.
The blooming romance, which starts with some Slack messages about office supplies and movies, seems to be going well when Robert invites Fran over for dinner. The two share a quick and sweet kiss before the meal, but things take a turn when Robert reveals that he’s been married and divorced not once, but twice.
It’s not the discussion of failed relationships that hit me so hard, but instead, the painful and uncomfortable way in which the two handle the revelation and their unresolved feelings. Here we have two people who clearly like one another and share an attraction, but their failure to communicate their feelings creates a fracture that quickly turns into a gulf that is seemingly impossible to cross.
Watching Fran Spend The Rest Of The Weekend Lying On The Floor Brought Back A Long-Buried Memory
After the date goes south, Fran retreats back to her apartment and then lies on the floor, fading in and out of sleep and daydreaming for the rest of the weekend. Sad, confused, lonely, and depressed, Daisy Ridley’s character is frozen on the carpet as night turns to day and back to night again to close out the weekend. And, watching this heartbreaking yet beautifully shot sequence unfold brought back a long-buried memory of mine.
Long before I married and had kids, I went on an awkward date that brought on a confusing and murky end to what was a blossoming relationship. Not knowing what went wrong or exactly why it happened, I spent the rest of the weekend in bed consumed by confusion and apprehension as I tried to sleep it off and hide from the world. With no contact with family, friends, my roommate, or the girl I had been so excited to see just hours earlier, I watched the night turn to day and back to night.
I had forgotten all about that memory until years later when Sometimes I Think About Dying brought it back like it happened just yesterday. I still don’t remember where things went south, but those feelings of pain, confusion, and isolation came back as reminders of an episode my brain tried desperately to hide from me all those years ago.
The Way Sometimes I Think About Dying Handles These Situations Is So Honest
I was blown away by the honesty and accuracy of Sometimes I Think About Dying and how it handles Fran’s failed date, its aftermath, and all kinds of other situations throughout the movie. From the beginning of the story all the way to the movie’s emotional ending, Rachel Lambert’s drama felt honest and sincere. Whether the characters were daydreaming about dying in various ways, trying to build meaningful relationships at work and in the outside world, or coming to terms with a loved one going through a medical emergency just when they were able to start actually living life, there’s so much authenticity and care.
Lambert, through her direction, and Ridley, through her masterful acting and career-best performance, create a rare and beautiful story that doesn’t shy away from addressing anxiety, depression, death, and broken relationships. I have to commend them both, as well as everyone else involved with the movie, for being able to pull this off so effectively and meaningfully.
Overall, I Feel Like I Relate To Fran On So Many Levels
Ahead of the film’s release, Ridley explained to one of my colleagues how Sometimes I Think About Dying spoke to her. Just like the Star Wars actress, who said she recognized her as a person and understood where she was coming from, I related to Fran on so many levels throughout the movie. Knowing that I’m not the only one dealing with the anxiety, awkwardness, and confusion, was a humbling and reassuring revelation.
This isn’t me saying that I’m glad others are having struggles in life, or anything like that, but the movie did help remind me that I’m part of a wider community and that I can open up with others about these feelings and memories. Though I often feel like an island, I am actually part of something larger.
I honestly can’t wait to see what Daisy Ridley has in store, after watching such a masterful performance in Sometimes I Think About Dying. She has that mysterious upcoming Star Wars movie where she’ll reprise her role as Rey, but I’m sure there’ll be room for smaller yet equally effective films on the 2025 movie schedule and beyond.